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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday Morning.

It's Sunday morning. we are in our new apartment. It isn't anything fancy, but it already is starting to feel very homey.

We got all of our stuff unpacked in a little over 24 hours. I'm a little OCD. I hate messiness, and clutter.

The reality that Matt is leaving is starting to sink in. my heart is heavy, and I'm starting to become an emotional wreck. I have been a little controlling and un-flexible. Mostly with moving and getting stuff done. While trying to fall asleep last night I realized why. I have NO control over my life whatsoever.

I can't control Matt leaving. I want to so badly. I want him to stay, and there is nothing in the world I can do about it. NOTHING. He is leaving in 12 short days and I can't stop it. So, I have been trying to control every situation that I can control.

I think that sounds kind of crazy, but I haven't been as crazy as it sounds. I think if things just start to deviate from how I planned them I start getting extremely anxious and snappy.

I'm thankful Matt understands. He is so comforting and understanding. He knows why I'm acting the way I am and tries to make me feel better. Thank goodness we both aren't crazy :)

I pray the next 12 days go by slow. These are the last days Matt and I have together before we become parents. The next time I see him, our son Jack will have been born, or he will just about to be born. That's such a weird thought. That seems so unnatural.

I hope your sunday morning is a beautiful one like mine. It is peaceful in my home, which is a comforting feeling. I have so much to be thankful for.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel. I think the biggest reason I get frustrated with the Air Force is that I feel like I don't have a voice. I have absolutely no say in anything, and neither does Aaron. Go to prison or get deployed. It sucks.

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