Matt has been gone for four days. It seems like MONTHS! Saying goodbye was hard, in fact, it was much harder than I anticipated. It was heartbreaking. I did okay up until I had to hug him one last time, and then walk away. walking away was the hardest part, but I did it. Then this really sweet lady came up to me and said " I'm so sorry you have to do this, you are making me cry. You are a strong woman, and you will get through this sweetie." It was really nice of her. She looked like she was on a business trip, very important, but she took the time to console me...even though it was just a few words it made me feel better.

Reality really hit me hard when I got home though. My house was empty. Of course I have Riley, but that's not the same. Around 4am on Saturday Matt called me from Florida as he was getting ready to board his plane to (stupid) Cuba. We talked for about 30 wonderful minutes, but then we had to say goodbye, and again the reality hit me upside the head. I just layed in my empty bead silently crying. I couldnt sleep any longer. So, I just played on my Iphone until about 8am, then I slept for about two hours, which caused me to miss church. I think God understood though.

I sound so whiney. I shouldn't be. I have been very blessed to have many people who care about me very much. It's not the same as having Matt here, but I appreciate the concern people have for me.

Anyways, tonight has been especially lonely for some reason. I was really tired and went to bed around 8pm, but then I couldn't sleep, so I layed there for 3 freaking hours. I got too uncomfortable, so I got out of bed a few minutes ago and decided to update this thing. I hope I'm not up too late tonight, I wanted to get up early and go to fabric depot so I could start on a quilt for Jack's nursery. We will see if that happens :/

On a brighter note, Liz is coming to Oregon soon and I can't wait! I miss her so very much and I'm so excited to see her, even if its only once :)